Painful memories
by Adrea019
Summary: Jeff dates Maria, but he can't forget his ex girlfriend Trish. And his memories about her hurts. . . Jeff/Trish Jeff/Maria


**Trish's not here, Trish left  
Trish leaves my life  
And you ask why  
I love her after everything  
Her memory occupies everything  
I can't forget  
The feeling of her body  
Trish's not here, that I know  
And I'm not going to find her in your skin  
It's sickening, you know I dont want. . .  
To kiss you thinking of her  
Tonight I'll make something up  
I dont want to think anymore  
With you I'll forget she's gone**

Jeff was sitting in his locker room thinking. . . again. His body was still covered in a body-paint, but he didn't feel like cleaning it off. He just won the match against Edge, but he didn't care anymore. His WWE Intercontinentinal Championship was resting on a chair against him, but it didn't afford him pleasure. It was sick. He didn't care about anything. Nothing existed to him since she left. Why did she left? What did he do wrong? He gave her his soul, his mind, his heart, his body, everything he had. And when she left, she didn't weary herself to give it back to him. Jeff was thinking about her all the time and people did notice it.

But what do they know? These people didn't feel the same way about her he did. They advised him to forget her and try to fall in love with Maria, his girlfriend. But was it possible? To forget about _her_? It just shows that these people don't know, what they are talking about.

He rememebered all the times they were making love and it was killing him. He was addicted to her body. Way more addicted than he once was addicted to drugs. Yes, no clue, he still loved her. He still felt the passion for her and it wasn't a secret to people around him. Only Maria ignored it. She knew that he loves _her_, but she never taked about it. With anyone. Only Maria was blind to his still burning passion and love for Trish.

Jeff wanted to forget her. God knows he tried his best to get rid of memories about her. But he failed. He was thinking about all these things they should, but didn't do. And there was a lot that kind of things. He thaught once they would have married, have children, grew old together. . . And now. He's sitting here all alone.

Have she ever remembered him? At least for one second? Or did he die to her the moment she left? She just packed her things and left their house. Left him. Broke his dreams. After 3 years they have been together.

But it was nave to ask himself why did she left. Deep in his heart he knew. She was tired. When she got to know he's addicted to painkillers, she didn't left him, which surprised him at the time very much. But when he was done with his addiction, she said she can't take it anymore and left. . . She helpped him to rise and then she let him to fall. To reach the very bottom.

He couldn't blame her. She was right. He was the one to blame, if he wouldn't do drugs, she would be still here. And now, instead of being here all alone, he would be with her.

Maria was a beautiful woman. She was nice and caring and, again, very beautiful. But Jeff's heart already had it's owner. Making love with Maria was wonderful, but with Trish he was losing his mind time by time, everytime they were doing it. He tried to find a crystal of Trish in Maria, but it seemed that they haven't got anything in common. Maria was a little girl in woman's body. Trish was educated, elegant, intelligent flower. Maria was very frank. He had to try very hard to find out what does Trish feels, but that even made them closer. No, Jeff couldn't compare Trish with Maria. It's like trying to compare a child with a woman.

Jeff felt guilty. Maria was awesome, she deserved only the best, but he haven't got anything to give to her. It's because everything of him was already given to Trish.

**And maybe if I kiss you  
The night might be shorter  
I dont know  
I can't be alone, stay  
Fill her space, stay**

Jeff wanted Maria to took Trish's place, but none woman in the world could fill the emptyness she left in his heart. He knew, he's gonna make love with Maria tonight again. He was working a lot on his wrestling skills last week, so they haven't got time enaugh for it.

Jeff didn't want to be alone this night. The empyness of his apartment. . . God, how cold was his home without her. He was living 9 months like it already, but he could never use to it. When him and Trish were still together, he wanted to get home as soon as it was possible, but now. . . Now he didn't want to go to that apartment. Why? Noone was waiting for him there. Noone could warm him up in winter besides a coverlet. Noone needed him there besides his dogs, who he had to feed. And noone spoke to him there besides TV, which was emotionless.

_Home, were your heart is_. If so, than he didn't knew where's his home. Wherever she is.

But that apartment won't be ampty this night. Maria is gonna warm it up. For that one night. And when she's gonna leave, it's gonna be cold again. Maybe Maria can make this night shorter, cuz' the last nights were lasting forever. He couldn't sleep. _She _didn't left him. If there would be an institution, where would be treated men, who's addicted to one or another woman, he would spend the rest of his life trying to recover from her.

**Trish left, she didnt say goodbye  
Leaving my passion torn  
Maybe Trish has forgotten me,  
And another is using her heart  
And all I know is her name  
I dont even remember mine  
Who will warm me?**

He was thinking so many times have she move on? Is there someone else, who took his place? Is there another man, who she loves, makes love with, cares about? If there is, then who is he? Who was able to take her away from him? To root out her love for him and leave only memories about their, supposed to be 'love till the death comes'?

He was all over her. Hell, sometimes she was the only thing that existed to him. Sometimes he was losing himself, he didn't remember who he is, what is he doing, what's his name! There was only one thing he knew: Trish.

**It might be hard for you  
But I cant forget her  
I think it's logical  
As much as I try to escape  
She's there  
I'll pretend to love you a few hours  
But when morning comes  
You'll lose me forever**

Sometimes he saw Maria crying. She loved him and it was killing him. He wasn't free. He was somewhere far far away. Maybe in Canada, where Trish probably is. Maybe in the end of the world. With his Blonde Princess, not with Brunette Angel. He saw the sadness in Maria's eyes, but she never complained him about _her._ And he felt grateful for that. He didn't want to talk about Trish. She was deep in his heart and noone could understand his feelings for that woman. Noone could love anyone the way he loved Trish. Noone will ever learn.

All he could give to Maria was his body. That few hours together, while he pretended that she's the only one in his mind at the time. But it was only accting. He didn't like to lie, that's why he never told her "I love you". And she was repeating him that all the time, she expected him once to feel the same way and it hurts too, because he knew 100 procent, he will never love anyone except _her._

It was hard to Maria and God knows, he wanted her to fall for another man, who would make her happy. He wasn't the one.

Silly, but everytime him and Maria were together, he felt like cheating on Trish. Isn't it stupid? He felt like betrayding _her, _even if she decided they're not ment to be. And she was wrong. They were ment for each other. They were a lot like. Together they could rule the world, seperate they were doomed.

He needed Trish more than air, more than water, more than food. He wanted to feel her again. At least to say goodbye.

Goodbye, my love.

**And maybe if I kiss you, you'll know  
How much this hurts me  
In your hug I wont find  
The dreams that Trish stole from me  
If I get tangled in your body  
You'll know, that Trish owns my love  
In your hug I wont find  
The taste of the kisses that  
Trish stole from me  
Stole from me **

Jeff wanted to kiss her again. To feel her body. Fell her. That she is, that she didn't leave him as she did.

She stole his dreams, life, happyness. And now he had nothing. Only memories. But even those memories hurts. . .

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Thanx for reading. Reviews wouldn't disturb! :)

This one was kinda sad, but I wanted to write something like this.

I WILL NOT UPDATE THIS STORY! THE STORY BEGINS AND ENDS HERE, IN THIS CHAPTER.

Don't forget to read my story **Love and the other disasters**!

This story was made with a song by **Nek - Laura No Esta **( It's only translated into English and instead of "Laura", I wrote "Trish").


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